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Category Archives: Relationship

The Things Never to be Forgotten Ladies Know

Most ladies still need associations with men and most men still need to find that lady that will impress him. Be that as it may, there’s an issue: a ton of ladies have no clue what men are truly searching for.

From a young age, women have been taught to be upset with the image that looks back at them from the mirror. And so young girls stare at themselves and hate everything they see and believe that this is normal and acceptable behavior. The girls grow up and continue to hate themselves, just that now they get to cover up their imagined flaws with make-up, hair extensions, and cosmetic surgery. And most of the times they invest in these things because they believe that these will help them to get the guy they like to show some interest.

These same women become frustrated when they don’t seem to be able to attract high-value men. What they haven’t realized is that although looking good is extremely important, it’s not the most important thing that worthwhile men are looking for in a girlfriend. When a woman learns to love herself, she immediately becomes more attractive to everybody that comes in contact with her.

What are high value men really looking for?

1. A feminine, self-confident woman. Not a witch with a whip who thinks self-confidence is a synonym of arrogance neither a needy girl who can’t make any decisions on her own. Don’t confuse being sexy with being feminine, either. If your only goal is to be sexy, you will only attract men who want to have sex with you. A feminine woman is always sexy but a sexy woman is not always feminine.

2. A woman who is playful and kind. This is an authentic woman who isn’t afraid of just being herself. We live in a society that is obsessed with uniformity and everybody looking the same. A woman who dares to stand out, and can do it without being disrespectful to others, is attractive.

3. A woman who respects herself and hence, respects him. For men, respect is a huge deal. A woman shows respect for a man when she appreciates and acknowledges what he does for her. Also, when she communicates with him as an adult without eye-rolling, sarcasm, or name-calling.

4. A woman who appreciates him and isn’t afraid of telling him so. Men thrive on admiration. Women need to remember this.

5. A happy woman who already has a life of her own that she enjoys.

At the point when Needs Are Confused With Love

Love seeing someone is frequently admired, especially in the most punctual stages. This is most obviously seen when couples are in the “fixation stage” right off the bat in their relationship. Amid this time we may see our accomplice as close flawless; finishing our needs and giving a feeling of wholeness. The “I’s” turn into a “we” and with that there is an obscuring of “my” needs and “your” needs. We neglect to see our accomplice as a person, as partitioned and unmistakable from ourselves. It is not until later in the relationship that every accomplice recovers what are “my needs” and “Gracious, by the way you’re not satisfying them”. What’s more, the reasons can incorporate, “in light of the fact that you’re a control monstrosity”, “you don’t love me enough or like you used to”, “(clear) is more imperative than me”, etc. The hallucination of flawlessness has dispersed and is supplanted by hurt and hatred. Whenever love and mental needs are befuddled and interlaced the individual needs of every individual in the relationship is mistaken for that of their accomplices and may even be obscure.

Perhaps this situation is seen at no greater time than in emotionally intimate and/or committed relationships, as in spousal or parent-child relationships. The commitment allows for greater trust, which provides a foundation for intimacy, and thus the expression of our deeper emotional needs. Psychological needs may include, the need to be heard, needing to feel loved, supported, accepted, acknowledged, approved, wanted, etc. Partners often believe they “know” their own needs and that of the other but the presence of conflict between the two individuals will prove otherwise. According to Harville Hendrix in the book “Getting the Love You Want”, conflict is growth trying to happen or express itself. In this case, the conflict might suggest the growth of individual personalities expressing themselves. Or more aptly put, the expression of individual needs and the attempts to gratify them.

Confusing our own needs with that of another’s is very common. For example, a woman once told me she enjoyed helping her spouse complete tasks. These actions provided her with a sense of loving-kindness as she often witnessed in her own home growing up. Her spouse, however, would often become irritated which she interpreted as ingratitude for her help. When asked, it became apparent that her helpfulness was viewed by her partner as intrusive and further triggered a personal sense of incompetence. Her need to help conflicted with his need to feel self-sufficient. While we are certainly not responsible for how someone interprets another’s behavior or what this may trigger in them, it does serve personal growth and growth within the relationship to understand these perspectives. Oftentimes, the experience of emotional discomfort is viewed as caused by our partner. “I feel unloved because you don’t love me enough!” It is believed that our internal experience is somehow the result of someone else actions. Why, because it feels that way. In actuality, we can’t make someone angry/sad/unloved or afraid unless the issues creating such feelings are already there lying dormant waiting for someone to trigger the circumstances that give rise to such feelings. For example, if I feel loved, no one can “make” me feel unloved. Most of our intense painful feelings originate in our lives during a much earlier time when we were impressionable and vulnerable; a time when we lacked skills to cope or the ability to remove ourselves from the situation. While actions of another can certainly trigger dormant feeling in another, these actions cannot cause or create such intense feelings.

When attempting to untangle the enmeshment of needs there is an underlying or overt fear that if these needs are released there will be a loss of love and the relationship will fail or end. In other words, if “we let go of needing each other” then “we” will no long “love” each other. Years ago I worked with a mother who was attempting to allow her adult daughter to make her own decisions while owning her own feelings of separation, loss of control, and guilt; her daughter was nearly 30 years old and beginning to push back to reclaim her life. The anguish this mom experienced brought her to seek help. She continued to work hard in her attempt to be a “good mom” but this time it was in an effort to let go of needing her daughter so much. At one point in her process she came in one day and exclaimed, “Oh great! Now I don’t feel anything for my daughter.” Her anxiety was palpable. I reassured her through the explanation that this is exactly what it feels like to let go of need as we begin to move toward authentic love. The process of separation or individuation is often met with great resistance or push back. This can take the form of anger, arguing, pleading, or sadness as the new space between the individuals can trigger fears of emptiness and loss. However, in this space between the individuals people can grow as authentic individuals and develop a more mature, adult love and respect for one another.

With so much on the line why is it important to separate the needs of each partner? Here in lies the key objective as well. How does it feel to “separate” ourselves from someone we love? Can we still feel connected and love from the person from whom we are now emotionally separate? To many people the fear and anguish of separation is intolerable. It is easier to argue to change someone than to accept our needs and take responsibility for their fulfillment. To coexist with someone we are different from means in part we have to coexist with ourselves without depending on some one else to feel loved, wanted, supported, approved, etc. These needs are important and relationships with loved ones provide a vehicle for satisfaction of such needs. It is the intensity of these needs and the attempt to force fulfillment through another that differentiates these needs from love. Further, expressions of needs through relationships serve as a means to discover what our needs are and their importance to us (as evidenced by the intensity of arguments that may ensue when such needs are unmet).

Now that the tremendous resistance to separation is understood, why is it so important to identify our needs and to distinguish them from the needs of others? Because when needs are enmeshed with another’s, individual needs are obscured. Individual needs, such as to be heard or comforted, that are not seen cannot be met. To separate our needs from others helps us to see ourselves and allow others to see us. It helps us to get to know ourselves. As this knowledge of ourselves grows, it becomes clear that the needs we have are ours. They always were ours and the desires to have these needs fulfilled are our responsibility. It has to be our responsibility because no one knows us like we do. Our partner, child, parent or friend can’t fully appreciate our needs because as we have now learned they have individual needs of their own that hard as we try we cannot fully experience and thus fully appreciate. So if there is a need to be heard, are you listening to yourself or disregarding or dismissing your internal dialogue? Are you supporting yourself? Are you loving toward yourself or do you frequently criticize your looks, your thoughts, feelings, or actions? This process involves many layers. As we identify a need and begin to gratify this need, personal trust in our ability to satisfy or soothe our needs deepens. The authentic person within begins to emerge sometimes gradually and gracefully and sometimes with a few growing pains, but emerges all the same.

Accomplishs for Step by step to Attract a Great Woman

Has your dating drought gone longer than the Egyptian starvation of the times of Pharaoh? Have you been lying wakeful around evening time pondering what it is that the various folks have that you don’t? Have you even asked your mates what it is that is making you such an anti-agents? Is it difficult to recall the last time a lady was pulled in to you?

It probably hasn’t been that long, but when you’ve been going through a dry spell, it can certainly feel that way. Fret not, as the answers to get back in the game are about to be revealed. Here are the top five tips on how to attract a great woman. Follow these do’s, and it will not be long before your mates are the ones asking YOU for advice.

The Details:

  • DO be funny. Marilyn Monroe said that if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything. Don’t believe her? Try it, and see for yourself. When asked what women are looking for in men in a Cosmopolitan poll, “funny” ranked above every other quality, and by quite the landslide.

Don’t try and be funny; learn how to be naturally funny. Highlight your positive quirks, or make jokes about the less-than-positive quirks. So long as your jokes aren’t fart or bodily function related, she will love that you laugh at yourself.

  • DO make conversation about local or world events. Women love worldly men according to a survey conducted by Forbes magazine. You don’t need to be able to cite the Constitution of 12 different countries; you just need to know basic news and what is happening in the world.

She wants you to be the expert; she wants you to be the one she turns to for answers. Even if she IS smarter than you, she still wants you to be knowledgeable enough about the world to help her understand it.

  • DO be the first to strike up a conversation, but DON’T start with a compliment. Women who hear a compliment first, particularly by a stranger, automatically get their guards up. Just strike up a random conversation with the one you are trying to attract. Keep the compliment on hold until you are about three sentences in; then it is more likely to catch her attention in a positive way because she will think, “Well, my looks weren’t the first thing he noticed.”
  • DO dress to impress. Handle your personal life the same way you handle your professional life. Dress to impress for the job interview, or it isn’t going to happen. For you, that’s the first date or the chemistry-building experience.

Like a job interview, dress according to where you are going, and look sharp, polished and only slightly more dressed than the current crowd. It sounds like a silly thing to you, but it’s something she will be looking for. Some women also judge a man by the quality of his shoes. Has it been a few years? Get a wardrobe update if you need to, if you are looking to be loved.

  • DO something that shows her you made a special effort, just for her. When a man makes a woman feel special or he does something that goes out of the way for her, she is instantly attracted to him, even if she wasn’t before. This is why some women have office affairs when things start to go stale with their husband. They get ignored at home, but someone at the office recognizes her talent, and before she knows it, things have gone out of hand.

If you are just trying to make it in the single life with your crush, do something sweet for her and slowly she will start to see you in a new light. If it’s your neighbor you want to notice you, for example, clean off her car or driveway after the next snowfall.

The Bottom Line:

When it comes to attracting women, the key is to cater to the side of the fairer sex that they use in the world of dating. That’s the emotional side. When you can make a woman feel positive emotions around you, that is going to increase her chances of being attracted to you. Whether that’s by making her laugh, making her feel good or going out of your way to do something nice for her, it’s these little simple things that will slowly start to build the long-lasting chemistry and attraction you are seeking.

Approaches to Show Love to a Woman

One most troublesome thing to do by any man in a relationship is the manner by which to love his lady. In any case, as troublesome as this is so additionally it is extremely urgent for the survival of the relationship.

It is important to know that loving your wife is the foundation on which your relationship will stand. And it has been discovered that many men do not know how to show love to their spouses and this has constituted major challenge why many marriages and relationships could not survive.

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1Pet.3

Given below are 7 ways to show love to a woman based on the biblical injunctions given by one of the greatest apostles on the earth, Apostle Peter.

7 ways to show love to a woman

1. Be to her a husband

The word husband is from the word husbandry, meaning the care, cultivation and breeding of crops and animals, management and conservation of resources.

The same way the husband as the male in a marital relationship is that man who can care, nurture, manage and conserve the woman in his life. It will be difficult to love a woman when you are not yet a husband.

That is why the bible emphatically addressed the matter of showing love to women to their husbands. It is a husband who can know how to love a woman; his own wife.

2. Dwell with her

To dwell is to remain with something or someone for a time, to live together as a resident of a particular place, to exist together, to lie with.

You are to dwell with her not minding her natural tendencies. Husbands must remain with their wives in sickness and in health – whether it is convenient or not.

Dwelling with your woman as a way of showing love is not about her but about you.

A loving husband must be willing to dwell with his wife when the going is good and when otherwise. It does not matter whether she is a nag, you are to show love by dwelling with her despite her weakness and strength. Do not dwell with her only when she is strong.

3. Treat her with knowledge

This is very important. She is your wife and not one of your siblings. She is your wife and not your girlfriend or concubine. She is not even your maid or personal assistant and should not be treated as one.

Treat her with knowledge, realize who she is to you and dwell with her according to that knowledge. Your wife is a stakeholder in your affairs. The moment you realized this the better for you.

4. Give her honour

This is wow! Love honours, adores and worship. You are to honour her both in public and private, when convenient and or not. It is one of the most difficult things to do for a man in a relationship but remember it is not about her but you.

It does not matter whether she I contentious you just must show love by honouring her.

5. Treat her with understanding

Your ability to understand a woman determines your love for that woman. It would be difficult to love someone you do not understand.

Be aware of her feelings and emotions. Understand her weaknesses and strength. By understanding her you will know how to render help where necessary.

6. See her as co-inheritor of God’s promises

Two are better than one. No matter how great you might be, when you married you will become far better.

There are certain honours and respects you cannot enjoy except you have a solid relationship with your wife. Every married man can testify to this. A good marital relationship always enhances the personalities of the people involved. It is a key to higher ground in life and ministry.

You are co-inheritors of the promises of God here on earth and so must treat each other that way. Treat her as co traveler, and pilgrim here on earth. You are both in the journey of life and so need the co-operation of one another to end well.

Basic Trick Etiquettes to Approach Girls

Is it accurate to say that you are frightened of young ladies even before drawing closer them? Without a doubt the vast majority of you would reply in the certifiable. Some of are truly apprehensive of taking a gander at pretty young ladies. How extraordinary it would be on the off chance that you knew the ideal and most ideal method for drawing closer a lady. How you ever considered discovering the most ideal approach to approach a young lady you felt pulled in to? Assuming no, continue perusing and you will take in a few tips to achieve it. What’s more, on the off chance that you ace this workmanship, rest guaranteed of a weekend date with somebody you generally needed to have close by!

Learning to approach girls confidently:

Practice makes man perfect. This is true to a great extent. For example, you are reading a few volumes of books on approaching girls and do not practice the tips you learn from the books, it will be a complete waste of time. Unless you put into practice the techniques, you cannot accomplish it. Ideation without execution is delusion. Therefore, reading this article on seduction is no guarantee that you will confident and courageous enough to approach a girl. But if you diligently practice the tips you are going to read, surely you will be able to muster up some courage to do it. In order to attract girls and become comfortable with approaching them, you need to go out and actively do it.

The thought of rejection is the worst foe of a man trying to approach a girl. Therefore, as you prepare yourself to approach a girl, be prepared to be spiked and rejected several times over. Hence it is very important:

  • For you to learn to deal with rejection before approaching a pretty girl.
  • If you can do this, it will stand you in good stead when you have deal with rejection.
  • Further, it will also add to the development of your overall personality as a mature and resilient human being.

A great way to begin building your emotional security is adopting the belief that women need you more than you need them.

The chances are that most attractive women will respond to you somewhere between neutral or positive because being approached by a man or a boy is definitely an honor to them. Therefore, they wouldn’t reject or say no to you outright.

How to Approach Girls: A Different Philosophy

After reading a lot about seduction, our experiences are that the techniques we read therein are not effective and working in everyday situations. Have you ever faced a problem like this? The tips that one often gets from reading are that smile, have proper eye contact, use the correct body language etc. These are the things all other guys like you are doing. There is then no novelty.

The question is: How can you approach a girl differently without being dependent on these conventional tips?

And this new technique is all about indirect communication. This simply means that you need to attract the attention of the girl you are interested in. You should make her feel that you want to know more about her and feel one her. For this, you also need to put yourself in the shoe of the girl you are seducing. You should know how she wants to be treated by you. Your interactions and communications with women will make it possible for you. Therefore, keep practising until you become perfect in it.

A

One Easy Secret to Quickly Make Him Want You

Snappy movement: get up for a sec and get to the closest reflect. Investigate it (not terrible, right?). Presently tilt your head up a bit, so you’re kind of looking down your nose at yourself. What sort of vibe would you say you are getting from you? Perhaps a touch of deigning or self-important, similar to you’re choosing whether or not to contract an old secondary school adversary for a vocation? Whatever illustration you’d utilize, it’s likely not extremely welcoming.

Okay, that was interesting. Now shake it out and look at you again. This time start out looking straight on, then slowly lower your chin an inch or two while maintaining eye contact with yourself. What’s the vibe now? Maybe you find that as you look at you like this, a sly smirk involuntarily forms on your face. Maybe instead of the smirk you feel the cute puppy dog eyes coming on, depending on your personality. How do you feel? Would sexy and mysterious be too strong?

Next time you’re talking to a guy you’re interested in (whether it’s your boyfriend of two years or someone you’re just meeting in a coffee shop), try looking at him like this and see how he responds. You’re actually sub communicating quite a lot here. Firstly, he’ll feel like you’re harboring some mysterious thoughts or that you know something he doesn’t, which will intrigue him and make him curious about you. Secondly, looking “up” at him like this is just a little submissive. You’re showing that you’re willing to slip into your feminine with him, which will invite him to channel his masculine in that moment.

So he will suddenly find himself feeling A) absorbed in you and B) strong and self-assured, without really knowing why. He’ll want to learn more about you, and he’ll have the confidence to ask you thoughtful questions. Perhaps the best thing about this is that it’s so subtle and low investment, so you have nothing to lose and only the most studied students of body language will see what you’re doing. No need to look at him like this all the time; think of it as a dash of spice to throw on an already flavorful interaction. Just use it when saying hello or when reacting to something he says.

I didn’t make this up; I first learned about it when a very artful woman used it on me.

It was a winter afternoon and my girlfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. She was reading a book about body language, and I was reading a rather dry research paper (this was when I was a scientist). She nudged me with her elbow and said, “Look at me, I want to try something.” I looked, and there it was. Since then I’ve noticed other women doing this sometimes, to me and to other guys. When a woman “looks up to me,” I get spirals of energy moving up through my chest (that’s what attraction feels like for me; chest spirals), even if I wasn’t thinking of her as a romantic entity a minute ago.

So, if you want to give the guys you talk to even more intense chest spirals than they’re already getting, add this little trick to your repertoire, and use it responsibly.

Ways To Dating Help Men Be More Sightly

From what I’ve seen now and again, dating for ladies can be a dismal, miserable attempt. I can perceive how ladies lose all trust in finding a not too bad man nowadays. – A man with behavior, class and a man who knows how to treat a woman.

Look guys, if you’ve had date after date and none of the women seem to want to stick around, maybe it’s not them at all who has the problem! – Maybe it is you! – And If that’s the case, you may want to pay attention to my four tips below to help you become more likeable. One of the tips might help your situation.

Don’t Be Too Loud

Some guys out there are just way too loud. It’s like they just want to talk over everybody and be the standout or center of attention. I’m not sure if it’s an alpha male issue or that guys who do this are trying to compensate for other issues and insecurities. Maybe they are overweight, maybe they feel unattractive compared to all of the other guys in the room. – Maybe they live at home with their mom. At any rate, don’t be the loud guy, the guy that talks over everyone. This is extremely annoying and unattractive. Everyone likes to be heard in the conversation.

Don’t Hit on Another Guy’s Girlfriend or Wife

You would think this tip wouldn’t have to make it to the list, but unfortunately it does. – Because I myself have had problems with guys hitting on my girlfriend and have seen plenty of other guys hitting on people’s girlfriends and wives in front of other people. Sometimes they’ve had too much to drink at a social gathering, and sometimes these guys are just total jerks. So, don’t be a total jerk! I assure you, nobody likes the guy at the party who is hitting on other guys’ wives and girlfriends!

Don’t Make Sexual Jokes

“Wow, that joke was funny. – If we were 15!” Sexual jokes can actually be funny, but there’s a time and place for them. – And on first dates with a woman or at parties with a potential girlfriend is not the place. This is a short and sweet rule. Don’t make sexual jokes with women you are wanting to date. And especially don’t embarrass her in front of her friends by making sexual jokes. Bad move!

Don’t Be Boastful and Arrogant

When it comes to one of my top dating rules for guys, this tip is definitely up there! Don’t brag to impress your date! Be confident, but don’t be boastful and arrogant. People are much more attracted to those people who are down to earth, easy to talk to, kind and also interested in other people.

Looking into Fault That Men Make at Dating

In some cases certain men like to consider themselves a master at going up against the women, however that isn’t inexorably valid. Holding a swelled conscience just meddles with a man’s capacity to truly and really assess himself. Despite individual aspiration, numerous mean are basically making a larger number of issues for themselves than they understand in light of the fact that they fall into an example of committing errors at dating from “go.”

Dating should be, and very well can, a lot of fun, and most of the time things do go quite smoothly on a date. However, there are numerous mistakes that men simply can’t seem to keep themselves from making when engaging the dating game. Following below are some of the most significant ones that everyone needs to avoid:

Making a bad first impression: Thinking that there’s nothing you can do about this is a misconception from the very start. Stick with the rule of being yourself, dress nicely and express an atmosphere of respect for her. Of course, don’t try to mimic any so-called foolproof “Casanova techniques,” because they don’t give off a natural effect and she’ll know that you’re trying to dupe her with something not real.

Don’t try to go too fast: Trying to strike a home run on the first date is something that will probably lead you to being sorely disappointed. Meaningful relationships aren’t built on one date and instant sex. Furthermore, if you push too hard, she’ll simply never want to see you again.

Leave the past alone and don’t relive it: If you were out on a date with a girl who spent a great deal of time talking about her past relationships while being out with you, you’d most likely be irritated by it. You probably wouldn’t want to see her again. Remember this if you’re prompted to ramble on about some of your awful ex-girlfriends from the past, which would bore her out of her mind.

Stay sober: This is essentially true on your first date. Drinking too much while on a date simply won’t go over too well. Especially if you stumble around, throw up on her shoes, pass out, or get stopped for drunk driving.

Make your date the center of focus: Whatever type of woman you are out with, it’s crucial that you focus on her rather than gazing at the supermodel that just entered the room. Curbing those roaming eyes might save you from spending the rest of the night all by yourself.

Don’t jump to conclusions about her likes and dislikes: This means that unless she asks you to order her food for her at a restaurant, let her do it on her own and at her own pace. Find out what type of music she likes instead of getting tickets to concerts that you like, but she hates. You get the drift?

Stay clear of sarcasm: Many women get a kick out of a good sense of humor, but they don’t appreciate sarcastic slurs. Off the wall humor is considered funny, but packing it with sarcasm during the course of a date is intolerable. At some point you’ll discover that she’s going to stop laughing and then that’s when you’re done.

Keeping your cell phone on during a date is rude: If you’re expecting a very important phone call and are afraid to turn you phone off, then it is best that you reschedule your date. There is nothing ruder than answering your phone and getting caught up in a phone conversation while in the middle of a date.

Insecure mannerism: Most women prefer self-confident men, rather than those who are afraid that women won’t appreciate them. They just don’t see any romantic qualities in someone like that.

Avoid being possessive and controlling: Women despise being controlled and they hate possessive men. If you try to dictate what she can or cannot do, she’ll probably be telling you goodbye.

Ways to Choose Your Right Person and Make a Stronger Relationship

Finding the correct person and building a relationship is that the topic of the century. a lot of and a lot of individuals slash, divorce or notice themselves lonely and unsuccessful by their partners.

In my own journey I have tried to understand what have I overlooked. It turned to me that key and most common to a couple’s success is the willingness to invest. Just like you take time to go through education, specialize in your job, learn a foreign language or raise a child, a couple is no different. Requires effort to build it and constant attention and interest for your beloved one. Here is what to look for in broad lines and 3 categories.

Firstly, at the beginning, you need to look for some common grounds related to life in general. Mind for similar level of education and career aspirations, choice of geographical location, desire for long-term relationship or building a family. Same applies for lifestyle expectations, religion and values or sexual compatibility.

Secondly, watch for deal-breakers: vices, infidelity, abuse, immaturity, 3rd party intervention, self and self-worth insecurities, care for appearance and cleanliness. As you dive into the relationship, recheck for point 1 above: religion and upbringing differences, long distance, significant income differences, money interests or money or fame greed, another family, interest for personal development.

Thirdly, if you feel comfortable that the above criteria does not raise major issue, then, it is worthwhile paying a closer attention to building your partnership at a stronger level. Perhaps you have already been doing so, which is great, this will therefore only raise your awareness.

1. Build each other’s confidence, treat with trust and respect
2. Support individual projects for further personal growth and sharing
3. Ensure time together for common passions and hobbies
4. Practice positivity, patience and whatever you do, do it with good intentions and love
5. Increase your level of presence and embody two-way communication (when in conflict talk about facts and your feelings without throwing arrows at the other person)

As the relationship advances and years pass, perhaps remind yourself to:

1. Make sure you stay in touch: hug, kiss, write, talk, plan for connection and intimate moments
2. Realign your priorities, interests and vision for success (avoids unmet expectations)
3. Don’t get lost in roles (parent, child or toxic relationships; you are an adult for your couple) or lose identity (do only things that other wants and not take care of self)
4. Practice healthy communication (positive feed-back, allow SARAH, conflict resolution)
5. Don’t get caught in thoughts, worries and material possessions, but take life with ease and be in the flow. That will bring security and joy in a natural way

How do you know he or she is the right ”one” for you?

If all things in the right direction, you feel it. Your intuition tells you. You effortlessly flow in the same direction, you dream together, you do not care what others think or say. Your partner is your friend, lover and confident and you grow together. In a partnership fears are waived, feelings are not guessed but shared, disapproval will be done from equality. You are comfortable together and you want to be part of each other’s activities even if they don’t seem extremely special. Doing nothing is wonderful together. You are joyful, energized and passionate. Conversations unwind, you laugh at each other without hearting feelings and you don’t feel an urge to control what the other is doing.

Depending on your stage in life and personal agenda, above may or may not apply. You may wish to decide for yourself what is the criteria that matters at every step. Make your own list of ”musts” and ”deal-breakers”. Whilst picturing it, you may come to realize lots of things about what is important to you, what really matters in your relationships and what are the things that you could never come to terms with. Generic recipes don’t work for everybody. They are meant to kick the process of self-discovery, investigation and personal development.

This current Guy In Love With You

Gracious those enchantment words we want to listen, “this present person’s infatuated with you,” however would he say he is? What does that mean at any rate; in what manner would you be able to know whether he truly is enamored with you or just ‘in desire’ for the occasion? There are a wide range of assessments or potential responses to this inquiry. Reality, the one you can trust, can be found inside yourself; it is contained inside what you have constantly known.

Are there things you can discard as untrue or unreliable? You decide.

1) Lie: “Love means never having to say “I’m sorry.” Truth: Love means never intentionally doing or saying anything that would require you to say those words. And when you intentionally do it? You can’t those words fast enough, because you are genuinely sorry.

2) Lie: Critical, always saying things like, “I’m trying to help you change, to help you.” Truth: You may have stumbled into a man who fancies himself to be an architect, or much smarter than you, he professes to know what you can be if you would just try… and trust him. Translate this to you are unacceptable as you are; I need to change you so you be acceptable.

3) Lie: “I check your phone or emails follow you or keep close tabs on you because I care, I am trying to protect you.” Truth: This is the nature of a controlling personality that is unable to trust. Worse, it bears the fingerprint of an abuser.

4) Lie: “I’m trying hard to get through to you (to make you think like me) but I can’t, see what you made me do?” Truth: When anyone you are involved in a relationship with says those 6 simple words, “See what you made me do?” you have encountered a full-blown abuser. This is classic lingo from someone who is incapable of loving anyone else.

5) Lie: “I can’t understand why you always make me angry.” Truth: Love does not anger easily, it negotiates with understanding and the intent to preserve who you are, the person he fell in love with.

What do you look for to know it could be the real thing? You stop, look and listen, just like when you were a child and facing danger like a busy street. Loving someone means seeing the best they can be; words and actions are a reflection of what someone thinks you are and will become.

The answer has been before us for more than 2000 years; the bible may have said it best, “Love is patient, kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered does not keep a record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices with truth, always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.”